Tag Archive | sexual assault

Power & Voice

I am a gymnastics nut. When I left KETV, my good friend Stacey presented me a group photo of the 2016 USA Men’s Gymnastics Team with their ‘personal’ messages wishing me luck. That’s friendship, folks.

I, like so many others, have been sickened, revolted, and angered by the stories that have come to light about Larry Nasser, the former US team doctor accused of molesting more than 100 elite gymnasts, including national, world and Olympic champions. MORE THAN A HUNDRED. How does this happen???? Why did no one listen??

Everyone is listening now; each victim has been allowed to publicly address Nasser in court during his sentencing hearings. In front of packed courtrooms, with cameras sharing their secrets to every corner of the country and beyond, these brave women spoke out. Some did it through tears; some kept their eyes down and read their accounts from prepared statements. Then, Aly Raisman stood up.

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Photo courtesy Brendan McDermid/Reuters

She’s won three Olympic gold medals and served as Captain on both the 2012 and 2016 USA Olympic teams. She has since shared that for years, she was sexually assaulted by Nasser under the guise of ‘massage and medical treatment’. When she stood up to confront her abuser in court, Raisman looked him straight in the eyes, HELD that stare, and boldly stated, “Larry, you do realize now that we, this group of women, you so heartlessly abused over such a long period of time are now a force and you are nothing.”

Click here to watch Aly Raisman’s full victim-impact statement.

If you are a young woman, or a parent of a young woman, I strongly suggest you watch this. It is a powerful demonstration of bravery, grit, intelligence; a strong woman finding her voice when for so long, she was engulfed in a world of silence.

Cue Tristen.

Tristen TJP

Photo courtesy Timmy James Photo

For nearly a decade, she kept her secret. In silence, she’d flashback to memories of strange things happening to her at just 5 years old. As a teenager, she found comfort and safe haven through her youth group pastor, finally revealing her past. Through counseling, Tristen also found the strength to share her story.

“I am currently an ambassador for DOVES, I’ve partnered with CAPWN and CAPSTONE, and I work closely with No More,” said Tristen. “I travel to area schools, elementary through college, and talk about how to be safe. I have three points that I really like to touch on when speaking to a group: how to identify if you are someone has been assaulted, what legalities survivors are entitled to, and how to be an effective bystander. These points are vital for both survivors and non-survivors to know.”

Tristen also uses social media to share alarming statistics about sexual assault, and ways we can all stay aware and step in to help.

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In 2016, Tristen started spreading her message through another program: the Miss Nebraska Organization. The Minatare, Nebraska native was crowned Miss Old West Balloon Fest 2017, then Miss Fur Trade Days 2018.

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“[This] gives us each a VOICE!” said Tristen. “Each girl has a personal platform they devote their service to. My platform, Speaking Out Against Sexual Assault, has been more influential than I could have ever hoped, all because of the continuous support I receive through this organization.”

Click here to learn more of Tristen’s story and mission, shared by Madison Elliott and KOTA-TV!

 

 

The Miss Nebraska program combined many of the elements Tristen is passionate about: as a talented vocalist, she was offered a stage to perform. As a student at Black Hills State University, she was provided thousands of dollars in cash scholarships. As a future elementary school teacher, she was given incomparable experience inside classrooms across western Nebraska, connecting with the children she hopes to someday nurture.

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“With the generous scholarships provided to every Miss Nebraska contestant, I will graduate college this December 100% debt free!” said Tristen. “My work has definitely been beneficial to my career goals. The biggest takeaway would be social skills and interactions. Public speaking is now one of my favorite things to do. Not only do we gain this valuable money to put towards our degrees, we also have countless doors open up for our careers.”

And as a woman fueled by a personal mission, Tristen has been empowered to share a powerful message, united with like-minded titleholders from across the state united to serve others.

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“Through Miss Nebraska, I have gained friendships I never would have had prior to competing,” said Tristen. “With those friendships came a huge support system full of women lifting each other up,” said Tristen. “My favorite memory at this year’s local [competition] was being backstage with the other contestants during rehearsals. During this time, I looked around and saw how each of us were working on something. Whether it was our talent, current events, or college homework, we were all involved. We are confident, talented, smart girls who dedicate ourselves to greatness. Each of as are all good at something. It’s amazing to watch us all in action, off stage as well as on stage.”

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When Aly Raisman gave her victim impact statement, she made something very clear: she is no victim. She’s a survivor.

“I have both power and voice, and I am only beginning to just use them,” she said. “All these brave women have power.”

My friend Stacey texted me that day and noted that Aly could go on to win 10 more Olympic gold medals.. and it wouldn’t be as impressive as she was in those moments of strength in court.

Tristen Wecker, Miss Fur Trade Days 2018

Photo courtesy Jenn Cady Photography

The same is true for Tristen. She is certainly a worthy candidate for the iconic title of Miss Nebraska… but crown or not, she is a model of courage, using her power and voice to inspire other survivors to come forward, while encouraging all of us to join their support system.

“Being a ‘Miss’ titleholder opens up so many doors. You get to show the world how amazing and powerful women are,” said Tristen. “My goal at Miss Nebraska is to share my platform with everyone who will listen. I want to create a domino effect of advocates. I strongly believe that even if you touch one person, they will go out and do the same.”

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To follow Miss Fur Trade Days Tristen Wecker on Facebook, click here.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT TRISTEN?

CLICK HERE * 2017 * Breaking The Silence

For more information about the Miss Chadron/Miss Fur Trade Days Pageant or for information about becoming a contestant, CLICK HERE to follow the organization on Facebook.  You can also contact Director April Grant by calling (308) 430-0479.

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The Miss Nebraska Scholarship Competition takes place June 7-9 in North Platte, Nebraska.

CLICK HERE to follow the Miss Nebraska Organization on Facebook

CLICK HERE to follow the Miss Nebraska Organization on Twitter

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NEXT.. Miss Chadron’s Outstanding Teen Kiera Rhodes

Breaking The Silence

“I had nightmares every night.”

“I didn’t understand why it was happening.”

“I didn’t want people to judge me.”

This year, 16 incredible young women will take the stage in North Platte to compete for the title of Miss Nebraska.  We only see the sparkle and the smiles.. we don’t always see the story behind each contestant, the life experiences that contributed to who each person is.

One of these women is tired of hiding.  Her name is Tristen, and she is determined to share her story with every, single person willing to listen.

Miss Old West Balloon Fest 2017 Tristen Wecker

“As one of the 1 in 6 women who have been/will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, I know how important it is to educate America on this problem,” Tristen told me recently.  “Sexual assault is often put on the back burner and not addressed due to its sensitive and uncomfortable status.  Well guess what, I’m not here to make people feel comfortable; I am here to save lives.”

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Tristen Wecker is part of a unique Miss Nebraska class; she is one of 13 contestants this year who have never competed at Miss Nebraska before.

“I have always admired the Miss Nebraska Organization,” said Tristen.  “It really is an organization that represents such poise, elegance, and empowerment.  Last year I decided I was ready to be one of those girls who makes a difference in her community and stands for something she believes in.  I competed in my first ever pageant last year and was amazed at how much it had to offer me.  Aside from the countless friendships I made, I also took away with me interview skills, a better view of myself as a woman, and scholarship money for college.  Even though I didn’t walk away with a crown that night, I knew competing in the Miss Nebraska Organization was something that God had put on my heart.  I have so much to teach others and so much to share about my platform.”

Tristen returned to compete in the first preliminary pageants possible to qualify for Miss Nebraska 2017.. and she won, crowned Miss Old West Balloon Fest last summer.

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“I knew this was a sign from God that I was ready to make an impact,” said Tristen.  “With a crown on my head and the Lord at my side, I knew that this was my calling.”

Young women join our program for any number of reasons; they love to perform, they enjoy networking and meeting people, and they benefit from the thousands in cash scholarships we offer.  Tristen, a Minatare High School graduate now studying at Black Hills State University, was drawn to all of it.

“Being driven is a huge part of where I am now,” said Tristen.  “When I want something for myself or another person, I do everything I can to help make it happen.  Between juggling 18 credit hours in college, volunteering for local organizations, working part-time, being family oriented and preparing for Miss Nebraska, I have no choice but to be motivated.  Being driven has helped me achieve everything that I have done so far.”

Tristen was also eager to share a message.  To many of our titleholders, this is known as a platform of service.  To Tristen, it’s an opportunity to expose part of her soul in the hopes of helping others.

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“When I was 5 or 6 years old, I remember a series of strange events happening to me,” described Tristen.  Her story is graphic and disturbing, detailing years of assaults she kept quiet from everyone.

“I finally decided to say something when I was in 7th grade,” said Tristen.  “I was at a Wednesday night Youth Group and my youth pastor had a lesson that had really told me that it was time. All of a sudden I see myself pouring my heart out to my pastor. I had no intentions of this happening that night. I felt a sigh of relief when she listened and I learned that the same thing had happened to her when she was young. I felt comfort in sharing my secret to someone who understood. I thought that she could help me in this silent battle. A couple days later, I am at school and get called to the office. My school counselor informs me that we are headed to CAPWN, a local organization that takes on cases like mine. I knew what was happening. I was so angry, words couldn’t even explain. I thought to myself, how could she say something? My entire high school life is going to be ruined, I’ll never be liked. I hated myself and everyone.”

Tristen began counseling, and in time, opened herself to support, encouragement and confidence.

“I realized what an amazing woman I am,” said Tristen. “At this time I was an 11th grader, I had more volunteer hours than I could count, I had straight A’s, I was a starter in volleyball and basketball, and was the captain of the cheerleading squad. I really evaluated myself and thought, ‘Why are you hiding your secret?  You are a bad-ass woman and its time to stand up for those who can’t’. (Excuse my language, I NEVER cuss, but that was literally my thought that day.)”

Tristen is now using her notoriety as a Miss Nebraska titleholder to share that lesson and to address taboos about sexual assault, assumptions even victims may feel about their situations and about themselves.

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“Through the Miss Nebraska Organization, I am able to educate citizens on how to identify if someone has been assaulted, how to be an effective bystander, and the legalities and right you are entitled to as a survivor,” said Tristen.  “Being encouraging is something that is so important to me.  When I look back at past events in my life, I remember those who supported and encouraged me through my journeys.  I remember how good it felt for someone to believe in me.  I strive to make others feel that way.”

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“Creating lifelong friendships is better than any gown I could try on.”

“I am thankful that my struggles have made me realize my true self and my purpose in life.”

“I’m not quite where I want to be, but I know I will get there.”

In preparing to write this article, I told Tristen how sorry I was all of this had happened to her.  She told me, “Don’t feel sorry, God had it happen for a reason and now I know why!”  This incredible young woman chose to speak out.  Beyond just breaking her silence, she turned the volume up to 10, hoping to make a difference for someone else.  She exemplifies what I hope people in our audience in North Platte and far beyond remember about all of our contestants.. that they are so much more than sparkle and smiles.  They are style, success, scholarship and service.  And in the case of Tristen Wecker, Miss Old West Balloon Fest.. STRENGTH.

“Obviously, my goal is to win Miss Nebraska,” said Tristen.  “It has been my dream to represent this great state with grace and elegance.  I am confident that I would serve the title well.  If my dreams come true and I win, I hope to share my platform on the Miss America stage and reach millions of people who desperately need to hear my message.  To me, sharing my platform is more important than winning the Miss America crown, but doing both would be nice.”

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CLICK HERE to follow Miss Old West Balloon Fest Tristen Wecker on Facebook.

For more information about Miss Old West Balloon Fest or for details about becoming a contestant, CLICK HERE.  You can also learn more about the Miss Scotts Bluff County Fair Pageant by visiting their Facebook page (CLICK HERE), or by contacting Director Cheryl Engelhaupt by email atcengelhaupt@fnbnp.com.

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The Miss Nebraska Pageant takes place June 7-10 in North Platte, Nebraska.

CLICK HERE for more details, HERE to follow on Twitter, HERE to follow on Facebook.

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PREVIOUS.. Miss Elkhorn’s Oustanding Teen 2017 Emily Lenser

NEXT.. Miss Harvest Moon Festival’s Outstanding Teen 2017 Kiera Rhodes

To read more about this year’s contestants, or the Miss Nebraska/Miss Nebraska’s OT classes of 2014-2016 click the THERE SHE IS link at the top of the page!